The reason we no we should but can't

I remember someone saying to me long ago that everyone's got to have at least one vice. I don't know if this is true, but it certainly seems that most of us do. The other day when that memory recurred to me, I began to think about how many different things we do that are essentially patterned responses.

I've had clients who have taken seminars designed around breaking patterns. This, of course, was based on the idea that patterns are bad. I've often wondered why we have them in the first place if they are not good.

I can think of plenty of patterns, or habits that I have, that seem to work pretty well for me. For example, I've found that I like to shave immediately after showering, but only every other day, or my face gets irritated. After that, I apply a moisturizer but only after I've cleaned my ears with a Q-tip, since my fingers would be too slippery otherwise.

I realize this is light fare and not very exciting stuff to share, but it's a good example of some simple habits I have that serve me well. I think that's really the question we have to ask ourselves after all, “Does this habit/pattern serve me or does it not?”

Sometimes habits are not only what we do but what we think as well. We may habitually get angry about the things in our life that we don't like. While anger may be the catalyst for our change, it may also create a physiology that deteriorates our health and well-being.

Our habits are really just conditioned responses. They make life easier in some ways, because once we learn something, we don't have to go and figure it out all over again. In other words, once the higher brain figures something out, that information is stored in the lower brain for easy access. If this were not the case, we'd be so consumed with figuring out our everyday routines that it would be a challenge, if not impossible, just to get through that day.

Some habits that may have served us at a particular time in our life may no longer serve us now. For instance, if an authority figure repeatedly raised his or her hand and slapped you when you were a child, it wouldn't take long before you reacted to protect yourself. Years could pass and you might find that someone completely different may reach over you for a coffee cup and you would respond in the conditioned manner from childhood, even if there were no threat.

To give you another example, maybe someone teased you about an outfit you were wearing as a child. You might have had a perfectly justified protective emotional response at the time. As an adult, however, if someone makes an innocent comment about your outfit, and you respond emotionally, in the same manner you did as a child, before you even have time to consider their motive, it would be just another example of a patterned response.

I think we can agree that patterns can be good or bad depending upon the effect they have on our lives. This is important, because the fact is that most diseases are lifestyle related and could be altered if not completely avoided by simply changing our habits and patterns. What's amazing is that even though everyone already knows this, it's still difficult for most of us to do anything about it.

I believe that one of the reasons for this is the amount of stress that perpetuates our culture. Stress has many devastating effects on us, not the least of which is its gripping effect on our ability to change habits and patterns that no longer serve us. In fact, a great indicator of someone's wellness is in his or her ability to adapt and change to an ever-changing environment.

When we are stressed, we are essentially in a state of defense. In that state, we can't fully access our higher brain, which happens to be the part that helps us assess the appropriateness and effectiveness of our behaviors. We know what to do yet we can't seem to do it. I'm sure everyone has experienced this at one time or another.

It's good to see that many people are beginning to seek tools that can help them deal with life's stresses more effectively. I also see many more practitioners and centers offering a variety of different programs in this arena. I would encourage everyone to find places like the Center for Holistic Health that address these needs, monitors one's progression and ultimately do what feels right to them.

One's ability to develop tools to release and adapt to stress more effectively will ultimately translate into increased adaptability and a better quality of life.