You're only hurting yourself

This morning, just as I sat down to write this article, a telemarketer called and asked, “May I speak to the person in charge of your printer supplies?” I politely replied, “Can you please take us off your list?” He told me if I didn't want to receive phone calls I should just disconnect my phone, and then he hung up without giving me a chance to reply. I had to laugh at his logic though.

I found the incident particularly funny since I was going to write about telemarketing calls for this month's newsletter. Last week, I got a telemarketing call from someone representing a copier company. Since I've received calls from this company before, I recognized the script. It reads something like this: “This is John, yeah, we're sending out the catalog. We just need to check the serial number on your copier, could you check?”

Of course, I don't have a copier, which is what I told them the first several times I got the call. I usually try to be as pleasant as possible, but my mischievous side takes over now and again and I'm likely to say, “Copier, what are you talking about? Who did you say this was? I don't know what you're talking about.” I suppose it wasn't really right for me to have fun at the expense of the person on the other end of the line trying to make a living, but nobody's perfect.

The fact is I really feel disappointment for that person, not because he is making his living telemarketing, but because the script he is required to read leaves him doing it in a dishonest fashion. I imagine that he doesn't realize the significance of being out of integrity, but I have no doubt he experiences its effects.

Integrity is an aspect of wellness we don't often hear about since it is not often discussed.

I recall my good friend and colleague Dr. Wayne Leyshon referring to this many years ago when he said, “Your life doesn't work when you're out of integrity.” It immediately made sense to me even if I didn't understand how it tied into wellness at the time.

People experiencing greater wellness initially feel a more peaceful state of mind, less depression and anxiety, and an increase in positive feelings about themselves. As they progress, they report quality of life changes such as confidence in dealing with adversity, more guidance by their inner voice and, of course, compassion for others. I think it's safe to say that compassion and deceit are incongruent.

But here's the catch — while wellness means ever expanding levels of awareness in your body, your life and the world around you, the more wellness you are experiencing, the more intolerant you will be of things that are incongruent with your body, mind and soul. This concept can be expanded to include all of humanity. When I was a kid, I remember seeing a bumper sticker that read, “As long as there is oppression, no one can truly be free.” While I was certainly not in support of oppression, I didn't realize at the time how it had any effect on me. From a spiritual sense, we begin to realize that we all come from the same Source, and to hurt another is congruent to hurting yourself.

I don't think it's possible for someone to feel true compassion for others and, at the same time, try and trick or deceive them. When you are aware of your body you immediately feel your own physiological reaction to all of your thoughts and actions, positive or negative. When you are living and acting without (or “out of”) integrity, you can't experience a state of inner peace and the physiology indicative of it. When we have a physiology of dis-ease and a relative disconnection from really feeling our body, eventually we will experience some kind of symptom as a way for our body to get our attention.

By sacrificing his integrity in order to boost sales, the telemarketer is unknowingly deteriorating the quality of his own life. I don't know him personally, but I would be willing to bet that it is showing up in some fashion, whether in physical symptoms or life situations. My hope for him and for all of us is that we recognize the symptoms as signals for self reflection and change.

I can't commit to that: Making healthy choices

One day a guy — let's call him Bill — called after having been referred to the Center for Holistic Health by a friend. Bill was experiencing back pain and was beginning to have trouble lifting his leg. Previously, when this had happened, Bill would see his chiropractor and that would take care of it. Bill then returned to his normal life. Only this time, it wasn't going away.

I invited him in for a consultation to further discuss his situation and determine some options. It turned out he'd been experiencing similar symptoms off and on for about fifteen years. He also shared with me that he'd been going through a particularly stressful time in his life.

I talked to Bill about how stress physiology and its global effects manifest in the body. He already knew that stress causes increased heart rate and blood pressure, shallow respiration and a tightening of the spinal muscles. He didn't even seem surprised to hear that it causes a reduced blood supply to the higher brain. This was probably because he was also experiencing some mental forgetfulness. Bill appeared to resonate with my description of Network Care and the effects it would have on stress physiology. Finally, he asked me how many visits he would need to commit to.

Those of you who know me or have read my articles understand that I'm not a proponent of the quick fix. We all shape our health over time. Since the factors involved in creating health — or dis-ease for that matter — are various and cumulative, why would we assume that years of patterns could be shifted and “fixed” instantly? In addition, the last thing I would want to do is remove his body's warning system without any learning or change in behavior on his part.

Based on his history, I told Bill that he'd most likely be looking at a couple of visits a week for several weeks to complete basic care. Bill said, in an extremely pleasant manner, “I have to be honest; I'm just not someone who can commit to that.” I appreciated his honesty, and, since I don't subscribe to the kill the messenger philosophy, I was able to tell him I had no attachment to his decision as to whether or not to begin care. Basically, he was saying that he had a history of not being able to commit to something like this and in order for him to do it he would have to change his normal behavior; he just wasn't sure he could do it. What is interesting here, of course, is the fact that Bill's inability to change and adapt in his life is most likely the cause of his discomfort, and exactly why he really needs care.

Clients have heard me say many times that the degree of flexibility in one's structure is directly proportional to the degree of flexibility in one's life, and this situation was a perfect example. Inflexibility in one's structure directly effects neuro-peptide binding on the cellular level. This, in turn, has an effect on one's available behavioral responses. For more information on the subject, refer to The Molecules of Emotion by Dr. Candice Pert.

Many times in life, we get attached to a story about ourselves, or an explanation of why things are the way they are regardless of the relevant truth. Our inability to change our story and adapt to the ever- changing landscape of life can wreck havoc on our physiology. If we are brought up with a particular belief system and those beliefs no longer work for us or match our evolved body/mind it creates a mental struggle and results in a defensive physiology and associated inflexibility of structure. Many of the symptoms we experience are a direct manifestation of this mechanism.

If we think about it and look back on our lives, how many times have we changed what we thought or believed about religion, politics, relationships and life? How many times have we reconsidered — in the light of new evidence or heightened awareness – what our choices might be? That is what you might call growth.