Sunday, August 19, 2007

Continuing With Network Spinal Analysis Even When It Doesn't Feel So Good

By Linda Lewis

Little did I know that when I walked into Dr. Gene's office in Woodstock three years ago that such profound changes would happen in my life. Or that it would become a journey that would not only heal my body, but reach into the depths of my being and heal my heart, my mind, and my soul. Give me a greater ability to find peace and ease in my experience of life. And ultimately find more compassion and love for myself and others. And for me, it has not only been a journey, but a bit of a wild ride on the way, with the top down and up and down some pretty big hills.

My back was in pain, but I had never been to a chiropractor before. I decided it was time to see one, and for several years I had passed by Dr. Gene's office and thought if I ever did go to one, that is where I would go. I anticipated a few weeks of adjustments and my pain would disappear. Network was completely new to me. I was skeptical from the beginning, knowing that those light touches would no way fix my back. I thought, OK, I will go for a month, Dr. Gene seems like a genuine and caring person and seems to believe in this work.

That month became a few more, and so much was happening that I was amazed. Not only was my back better, but I was feeling so different mentally and emotionally. Like a heavy weight was being lifted off me, burdens and emotional pain that I had carried for years began to vanish. Things I had wrestled with and tried to find solutions to began to change. I had more joy and a greater sense of peace of mind. I was feeling more alive and vital.

I was also getting more in touch with myself and my feelings. There were times when I would leave the office and cry for a few hours, but it would pass and it seemed to be cleansing. The range of my emotions was widening, and with the intense highs from my entrainments there also came some intense lows. All along I was growing and learning a lot. Dr. Gene is a wonderful facilitator and teacher. He genuinely cares about everyone in his practice, which seems to be a rarity.

I felt that I was making progress in my life, and that real changes were happening with each entrainment. I could feel the effects for days. I was feeling the trans formative power of the work. I was healing.

Then for weeks, actually a couple of months, things began to flatten out for me. I had the blues and cried more and more each time I left the office. There were times I felt like I was in the dark night of my soul. So much was surfacing that I felt like I was in a constant battle with myself. I didn't feel that I was having growth in a positive direction anymore. I had been in regular care for a year, and I decided that was enough, I would find something else to do that would make me feel good. So I emailed Dr. Gene and said that I would be discontinuing my care at the office. I would come in the next week to discuss it with him, but in my heart I did not plan to continue. It just didn't feel good anymore.

That was a long week and I did feel hollow and achy inside. What if I could really experience all that I had heard Network could do? It was working beautifully for a while, why not now? ...

When I met with Dr. Gene, he was, as usual, incredibly patient and nonjudgmental. And he told me what I was experiencing was not unusual for level two of care. And that there was probably more there for me. He listened, and understood. And I decided to trust and continue for a while more. I am glad I did.

Sometimes we have to experience grief, anger, despair, and frustration and walk back through some of the dark nights of our past in order to experience the full range of joy today. I for one had learned to dampen down my emotions in order to feel less suffering in my life and in the lives of those around me. I am a nurse and regularly see more pain and sorrow than I had imagined was out there. And if we live long enough, we will all go through our share of pain on one level or another.

Before coming to Network, I thought that I had matured enough to not feel so much emotion, and could be strong by not feeling so much. I had effectively boxed myself in and narrowed my choices in life. I could avoid feeling fear by avoiding the things I was afraid of. But I was constantly achy and in pain, and knew that I was living at a lower level of functioning than was available. My joy for living was diminished. I did not want to grow old feeling this way.

A few months prior to finding out about Network, I decided it was time for change in my life and I had nothing to lose by living more abundantly. I prayed for answers and for a clear path to follow to experience change in my life. I knew it was either curl up tighter inside myself in defense, or start living the life I knew was out there. I was ready for freedom. It was like coming out of a web, breaking through chains, cracking open my heart. Restoring my strong sense of compassion and love that was there all along but had been veiled by the fear of living .

Sometimes it is intense. Sometimes it hurts. But that is Ok. There are also intense feelings of bliss. It has been quite a journey. I never regret continuing with care. It has been the most powerful tool for transformation and liberation that I could imagine. I'm still a work in progress. I know that there is more to come. I have so much thankfulness and gratitude that there is something that works so well. And that I can feel so much now.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Linda~ It was inspiring to read of your experiences and hear your honest heart felt thoughts!
You have always been an inspiration
to me! I am so happy to see that you are taking care of YOU!
Blessings as you continue your journey!
xo Lydia
PS~YOUR PUBLISHED!!!U go girl....

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful story to express the depth and experience of healing.

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