Unconditional love is wonderful in theory, but how often can we actually practice such a premise with ease? There are two answers. First, that it is easy. We need only to choose love in each moment. Secondly, it can be very difficult unless we are willing and able to let go of our attachment to a given outcome in a situation.
One reoccurring theme for me when working with clients is to ask, “What is it that we can get or learn from our body's symptoms or challenges?” We might also ask, “What is it that we can learn from life's challenges?”
For some time now, I've had a conceptual understanding of the teaching that there are gifts in every experience we have. Even though people in our lives may have wounded us, the experience offers us wisdom that we would not have received otherwise. It was only recently at a Network seminar that I could actually feel this experience in my body. This was one of the most wonderfully powerful and freeing experiences I've ever had. For the first time, I could truly feel love and gratitude for the people in my life that I felt had wounded me most deeply.
I was lucky enough to have had the opportunity to see the Dali Lama a few months ago when he was lecturing at Emory University . In addition to being moved by his wonderful nature and the wisdom of his teachings, I was intrigued by another Buddhist tradition, the meditative construction and subsequent destruction of a Mandela made of colored sand. All week long the monks worked on creating an extremely intricate Mandela. Anyone who saw it could bear witness to how absolutely beautiful and amazing this piece of art/work was. Yet, at the end of the week they destroyed it. Because we are attached to the outcome for things of beauty to have permanence, our first thought might be to wonder how the monks could bear to destroy something so beautiful. However, this tradition teaches the lesson of impermanence and non-attachment.
My favorite author, Elkhart Tolle, writes in his book, “The Power of Now,” about the practice of meditating on the experience of your own death. While this may seem like a morbid exercise, it can free you from your attachments to life and/or your fear of death. Death is inevitable. However, once we have let go of any fears we have of dying, we can we truly experience life.
When we experience an attachment to an outcome instead of looking at an experience for the gifts that it has to offer, we set ourselves up for mental anguish. This will deteriorate the quality of our life experience and can even lead to symptoms in the body.
Essentially, most spiritual leaders and teachings have similar messages. In order to truly experience the joy of life and relationships in each moment we must be willing to let go of our attachments. It is only when we fully let go of our attachments that we can experience true unconditional love.
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